So I've been teaching a weekly faith formation class to second graders at my church, and while I thought I had some wisdom to impart, it seems that instead I am the student. First of all, I realized that my mediocre disciplinary skills weren't going to hack it against 13 seven - year olds who all know each other from school. One of the more assertive little girls told me right off the bat: "Okay, those two can't sit next to each other at school so maybe not here either." Boy was she right. (future teacher?) I was immediately humbled. Literally, I am ashamed to admit, I had not even made a seating chart after 3 weeks. I naively thought I could rule with "love." Literally: love. That's what makes the world go round, right? What EVER. I confused that with discipline. I had subbed before, but this was the first time I had to make the rules, and it is totally different. I was like Anne of Green Gables on her first day of teaching, when she actually told the kids that she wanted everyone to get along and so could they please do that? It backfired for her and it backfired for me. Those kids see that you have a heart and it's all over. Those first few classes I decided that I was a complete failure. It didn't help that all the other teachers somehow found out I couldn't control my roudy bunch and condescendingly offered "advice." Why had God called me to do this? I was obviously way too weak to run a classroom. I didn't quit, though. Since I had parents who made me complete things, no matter how much I wanted to quit, I knew that I had to push through.
What can I report, now, halfway through? Well, I dug in my heels and did some research and VERY unwillingly (still unwillingly, actually, but I ignore it) made some class rules and a seating chart, and had a serious chat with the kids about some clearly laid-out consequences. I hated doing that. I really truly just want everyone to be good, and am too understanding when they aren't. Were my mom to read this she would smile and shake her head. She knows how sensitive I am, and how I put myself in the kids' shoes to a fault. I remember vividly what it was like to be a kid, how it felt to be scolded, so I hate to do it. It's silly, really.
All of my friends are awesome disciplinarians; I fall very short of them. In case you wondered, my pattern goes something like this: Kid whines, I ignore. Kid whines, I start inwardly fuming. Do nothing (it will stop, right?) Kid whines, I say "stop!" Kid whines, I say "stop" again. I say stop a few more times. Joe walks in the room, sweeps kid off their feet and into their room. (oh wait, this is only 20% of the time. The other 80% when he's not home I have to actually DO something). I threaten to take things away, then take them away. Kid doesn't care, I take more things away. Kid still doesn't seem affected. I put them in their room. I think my routine is pretty acceptable, except that it is not immediate enough, and has too many steps.
But good news! Don't freak out, dear readers. I(we) have implemented some changes. Kids have house rules and clearly defined, immediate consequences, as of 2 days ago. How's it going? Pretty fair. I wanted to report that we have 4 little behavior miracles but let's just say.......it's a process. They are testing all the rules now with an intensity that would push over an elephant, just to see if I'll give in. However, after 2 straight days of time-out for Mollie climbing on the table and playing with the Advent Wreath, she hasn't touched it once today (10:59am). The old Amy would have just put it up high and avoided all the timeouts, but I just decided that this is OUR house, the parents' house, and I want that wreath on my dining room table, dang it! She's 2 1/2 and she can follow simple don't touch rules. I have done enough reading about the psychology behind toddlers to know that their impluse control is practically nil. Now I am responding to it, rather than just understanding it :) Like I said, it's a process for this tired mom.
So back to my second graders. They are such dears! We have been having such lovely conversations about their little lives, and I learn so much about how they think and what they think. They force me to be serious with them, since they don't understand my primary language (sarcasm), so that's been good for me. I am practicing the art of balancing being a good listener vs. letting the students take control of the conversation, transitions, having designated helpers, etc. We are pretty used to each other by now. We put on a play of the Annunciation / birth of Christ a few weeks ago and they did a wonderful job and enjoyed it immensely. We are practicing now for our Advent program and sing our hearts out. I love Christmas season, anyhow, but being able to experience it through the eyes of children makes it that much more enriching. Also, being with them enhances the enjoyment of Christmas with my own children. (also, Ellie is in my class so it has been an added bonus to see how she acts in a classroom up close)
Last night I asked the kids to write down something they would like to do or change in themselves this Advent season, and then put that slip of paper in the empty manger while we wait for baby Jesus to come. Here's a sampling of their sincere, funny, and frank thoughts:
1. try to love
2. not hunt animals
3. i will do more work
4. do not ckik (kick?)
5. i will do nothing
6. punch my brother in the gut
7. I will try to get my spelling test right
8. I will help the white rabbit
9. I'll not be bad to people
Kids........Ya gotta love 'em.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
10 Things I've Learned From Having Kids
1. A pirate patch is an accessory.
2. Words like "pee," "poop,"and "butt" are insanely funny to kids.
3. It's possible to have an intense fascination with ONE thing for over two years.
4. Two - year olds do NOT care what you say.
5. It's possible to go from a state of total anger to loving maternal bliss in a matter of seconds. (and vice verca)
6. Thumb sucking may be bad for their teeth but man it's cute!
7. Saying "poopoo goes on the potty" does not mean that they actually know how to do it.
8. It's really really really hard not to laugh sometimes.
9. 99% of what you take for granted as fact amazes and/or perplexes them.
10. Kids seem to remain the same age for months and then in one statement or action show that they have grown 2 years in maturity.
...and BONUS #11: I never knew I could love any 4 little people so much.
2. Words like "pee," "poop,"and "butt" are insanely funny to kids.
3. It's possible to have an intense fascination with ONE thing for over two years.
4. Two - year olds do NOT care what you say.
5. It's possible to go from a state of total anger to loving maternal bliss in a matter of seconds. (and vice verca)
6. Thumb sucking may be bad for their teeth but man it's cute!
7. Saying "poopoo goes on the potty" does not mean that they actually know how to do it.
8. It's really really really hard not to laugh sometimes.
9. 99% of what you take for granted as fact amazes and/or perplexes them.
10. Kids seem to remain the same age for months and then in one statement or action show that they have grown 2 years in maturity.
...and BONUS #11: I never knew I could love any 4 little people so much.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Random, Non-Detox Thoughts
Feeling sorta random today. Usually like to write with some attention to reader interest and correct syntax, but not today. Blog will probably read like a personal diary instead, but don't worry, I have nothing murderous to confess. And I promise not to talk about depression, because it apparently scares people. So does being blunt. :)
Having some end of summer lazy days, well, for the most part. My last days of summer I have purposely designed to be this way. No outside commitments if I can help it, and all of my work is self-directed and self-motivated, from home. Not that, honestly, most of my life isn't structured this way anyway, but these last few weeks before school starts I have been more intentional than ever about it. All too soon I will be ruled by school schedules and twice or four times daily pickups/drop offs. I like the regularity of it, essentially, but it is nice to also to have time off from it. So, I'm cleaning more, and getting the house organized for school. These are really pleasant tasks, and I relish the time I have to spend on this, and take great pride in making it all work.
The small things in life have always held a dear place in my heart - a cup of tea, kids playing happily at my feet, soothing little "owies," a stroll down the street, a bike ride with kiddos, etc. A lot of these things are of course interrupted by little arguments and frustrations, and sometimes outright cat fights, not to mention pee accidents and demonstrations of the inability to listen when I'm talking. But whatev. These incidents all serve as opportunities for me to "mold" my kids, teaching them those important lessons of how to share and get along with others, to tell the truth, to acquire patience. These are so important! There is a joy to be able to transfer these things on to four, precious souls. It is overwhelming at the same time, but in my teaching I become more patient myself. Everything you need to know about how to live you can learn from you kids, I believe. If you want to learn to not act out impatiently, try teaching a 7 year with the same tendencies not to. We are both growing - I can gaurantee it. If you want to learn how to juggle a roomful of several different personalities, try juggling four kids 7 and under with 4 distinct temperaments and age - appropriate needs. My goal in life is not to have a career, but when I do work outside the home again, what I have learned here is the basic human understanding of how people work. I find that all of my volunteer work and curriculum writing is less of a challenge than my four stinkers. Vastly different, but more manageable because of my boot camp. I can't imagine the heartache of being away from their love and progress all day, and am grateful that I have learned the skills to manage a home in a way that saves us money enough to do this.
On another note, I think my haircut from yesterday is too short. I really really got excited at first, and still am, when I felt that weight fall off my head! And it will grow, I think I'm just having a mourning period. My hairdresser is going on maternity leave so I wanted to do something drastic before she left. Well, I did. Looks good, but feels so strange right now!
Last night we headed off as a fam to a kid birthday party. I swear that it was summer when I went inside to change for leaving. When I came out, it was fall. I went back inside and changed to pants and grabbed my raincoat! So I hang on to these "lazy" days of summer, heading to the beach even though I feel beached out, and putting the sprinkler on for the kids. It's my last summer to have a 7 year old, a 5 year old, an almost 4 year old, and a 2 year old, and these days won't last...
Having some end of summer lazy days, well, for the most part. My last days of summer I have purposely designed to be this way. No outside commitments if I can help it, and all of my work is self-directed and self-motivated, from home. Not that, honestly, most of my life isn't structured this way anyway, but these last few weeks before school starts I have been more intentional than ever about it. All too soon I will be ruled by school schedules and twice or four times daily pickups/drop offs. I like the regularity of it, essentially, but it is nice to also to have time off from it. So, I'm cleaning more, and getting the house organized for school. These are really pleasant tasks, and I relish the time I have to spend on this, and take great pride in making it all work.
The small things in life have always held a dear place in my heart - a cup of tea, kids playing happily at my feet, soothing little "owies," a stroll down the street, a bike ride with kiddos, etc. A lot of these things are of course interrupted by little arguments and frustrations, and sometimes outright cat fights, not to mention pee accidents and demonstrations of the inability to listen when I'm talking. But whatev. These incidents all serve as opportunities for me to "mold" my kids, teaching them those important lessons of how to share and get along with others, to tell the truth, to acquire patience. These are so important! There is a joy to be able to transfer these things on to four, precious souls. It is overwhelming at the same time, but in my teaching I become more patient myself. Everything you need to know about how to live you can learn from you kids, I believe. If you want to learn to not act out impatiently, try teaching a 7 year with the same tendencies not to. We are both growing - I can gaurantee it. If you want to learn how to juggle a roomful of several different personalities, try juggling four kids 7 and under with 4 distinct temperaments and age - appropriate needs. My goal in life is not to have a career, but when I do work outside the home again, what I have learned here is the basic human understanding of how people work. I find that all of my volunteer work and curriculum writing is less of a challenge than my four stinkers. Vastly different, but more manageable because of my boot camp. I can't imagine the heartache of being away from their love and progress all day, and am grateful that I have learned the skills to manage a home in a way that saves us money enough to do this.
On another note, I think my haircut from yesterday is too short. I really really got excited at first, and still am, when I felt that weight fall off my head! And it will grow, I think I'm just having a mourning period. My hairdresser is going on maternity leave so I wanted to do something drastic before she left. Well, I did. Looks good, but feels so strange right now!
Last night we headed off as a fam to a kid birthday party. I swear that it was summer when I went inside to change for leaving. When I came out, it was fall. I went back inside and changed to pants and grabbed my raincoat! So I hang on to these "lazy" days of summer, heading to the beach even though I feel beached out, and putting the sprinkler on for the kids. It's my last summer to have a 7 year old, a 5 year old, an almost 4 year old, and a 2 year old, and these days won't last...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Days 6 - 11
So I missed a few days writing. I think that's because this detox has become more a way of life, less a struggle that I needed to vent about. I understand more what this is all about. I have changed several things, on my own, thus coming up with a combination of suggested meal ideas and my own tastes. In many cases, I still eat the same things essentially, but just in different ways. For instance, I love eggs in the morning. I used to eat them cooked in butter and milk, and loaded with cheese. I now eat a 3 egg omelet, that is cooked in coconut oil, sans the cheese and milk, with mushrooms and peppers. So I get more taste, really, than I got out of it before, and much less fat. I feel energized afterward, not sluggish.
I have not bought or eaten a loaf of white bread since probably high school, and therefore thought I had "eliminated" white bread from my diet. So why had I not noticed a difference? Well, because white bread is disguised everywhere (well not really disguised, just cleverly overlooked by me) - french bread with spaghetti, breadsticks with that pizza order, eating out at Jimmy Johns (this hurts, as I love JJ - when I go there again, it will include a WW order), and for that matter all eating out. It's SO easy to make excuses, as we all know well! And what's with Amercans eating two carbs with one meal? Why are we even adding bread to a meal that already contains pasta? It's so much more satisfying (and less sluggish) to eat a whole grain carb with your meal, or skip it altogether and have salad. I keep it real with the salads, because they can get old if you don't. Every week I buy different toppings for them (veggies, spices, fruit, nuts) and I never use dressing.
I have cut out almost all dairy, with the exception of cream in my coffee. I think the first time I used butter in two weeks was last night when I made cornbread to go with my veggie chile. And hold on.....actually, I didn't even use butter! I used "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" (this always makes me think of a Yooper non-butter they sell there called "Is It Butter?", which always prompted my brother Kevin and I to demand, "I don't know, IS IT?!" and fall over laughing). The lower peninsula version has no trans or even sat. fat, no sugar, no nuthin'. (I think that's a recent change but not sure) My point here is that butter can sneak in, in many forms, as I'm sure my faithful reader Kirsten, (a fellow blogger about food) can relate. When you're baking, it's tempting to say, "Well...........the recipe CALLS for butter, and they made the recipe, so they must know what they are talking about, so I guess I'd better just use butter....." Same for flour. I always have substituted WW flour, but now I am using gluten-free flour, such as in my corbread last night. (btw cornbread is an ok carb for me because cornmeal contains no gluten) But I could have eaten that entire cornbread it was so good, and I had to limit my serving size. I drank water instead :)
In summary, I would like to clear up a myth about my green tea - it IS caffeine free. That's it.
K, I'm off.
I have not bought or eaten a loaf of white bread since probably high school, and therefore thought I had "eliminated" white bread from my diet. So why had I not noticed a difference? Well, because white bread is disguised everywhere (well not really disguised, just cleverly overlooked by me) - french bread with spaghetti, breadsticks with that pizza order, eating out at Jimmy Johns (this hurts, as I love JJ - when I go there again, it will include a WW order), and for that matter all eating out. It's SO easy to make excuses, as we all know well! And what's with Amercans eating two carbs with one meal? Why are we even adding bread to a meal that already contains pasta? It's so much more satisfying (and less sluggish) to eat a whole grain carb with your meal, or skip it altogether and have salad. I keep it real with the salads, because they can get old if you don't. Every week I buy different toppings for them (veggies, spices, fruit, nuts) and I never use dressing.
I have cut out almost all dairy, with the exception of cream in my coffee. I think the first time I used butter in two weeks was last night when I made cornbread to go with my veggie chile. And hold on.....actually, I didn't even use butter! I used "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" (this always makes me think of a Yooper non-butter they sell there called "Is It Butter?", which always prompted my brother Kevin and I to demand, "I don't know, IS IT?!" and fall over laughing). The lower peninsula version has no trans or even sat. fat, no sugar, no nuthin'. (I think that's a recent change but not sure) My point here is that butter can sneak in, in many forms, as I'm sure my faithful reader Kirsten, (a fellow blogger about food) can relate. When you're baking, it's tempting to say, "Well...........the recipe CALLS for butter, and they made the recipe, so they must know what they are talking about, so I guess I'd better just use butter....." Same for flour. I always have substituted WW flour, but now I am using gluten-free flour, such as in my corbread last night. (btw cornbread is an ok carb for me because cornmeal contains no gluten) But I could have eaten that entire cornbread it was so good, and I had to limit my serving size. I drank water instead :)
In summary, I would like to clear up a myth about my green tea - it IS caffeine free. That's it.
K, I'm off.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Day 4 Detox and Depression
This day was in all honesty so bad that I couldn't bring myself to write. Not necessarily because of the detox, but that certainly didn't help. I got a little low on carbs. I hadn't had ANY carbs since Tuesday (2 days), not even the healthy kind. Don't know how that happened but it clouded my thinking and feelings and basically colored my whole day. It started with sadness and loneliness, and transitioned to being very irritated with the kids, then just plain feeling low and not knowing why. It was at that point (as it usually is) that I realized it was a depressive episode. I looked at my crazy pill bottle and saw that the refill I had just picked up was less than the normal milligrams per pill, and that's obviously what sent me spiralling down. I'm sure that no carbs didn't help. My urge was to binge eat to make myself feel better, but I controlled it for the most part and had some detox tea and a piece of toast with cheese. Felt a bit better, but still in horrible mood.(poor Joe and kids!) Joe came home with a new vaccuum for me (so sweet, as I had merely mentioned wanting a newer, lighter version of the ancient one I had only 2 days ago) Went to beach with whole fam dam and felt good only while in the water, playing with kids. Made a stop at Home Depot to pick something up and Joe also ran in to Office Depot to grab me some mail slot shelves for organzing the kids' papers from school. (I hadn't been able to find them the previous day when I had a babysitter). School shopping is now complete!
I have two things to say here. One is, do NOT allow yourself to get low blood sugar while doing this detox or any diet. Eat a little something before you feel ravenous, to stave off hunger. Food is Fuel. Plain and simple. It can taste good and should have flavor, but it cannot improve overall mood or make the world seem brighter on a bad day.
Two, mind over matter is a HUGE thing. It kept me from very very negative thoughts and kept me going for the sake of the kids. Depression is an illness, and as I have explained several times to those close to me, on a good day, it is managed with eating right, exercising, praying, staying busy, and thinking of others before yourself. On a bad day, you can be doing all those things right and still feel very "off" to put it lightly, and have no control over it. I suspect that the refill being off is the problem, but I don't know for sure. So, mind over matter is essential on these days. You tell yourself that this day will pass, that tomorrow you will feel better. And guess what, it's tomorrow and I feel better! That horrible sinking feeling assailed me first thing this morning, but thoughts of others' well being dragged me out of bed. I EVEN made it to Meijer with all four kids. Are you impressed?! I certainly was! But, help me Lord, the 5 people who stared at me and said, "looks like you got your hands full" did not get polite responses for me. I guess the bad mood had lingered on, just a little :)
I have two things to say here. One is, do NOT allow yourself to get low blood sugar while doing this detox or any diet. Eat a little something before you feel ravenous, to stave off hunger. Food is Fuel. Plain and simple. It can taste good and should have flavor, but it cannot improve overall mood or make the world seem brighter on a bad day.
Two, mind over matter is a HUGE thing. It kept me from very very negative thoughts and kept me going for the sake of the kids. Depression is an illness, and as I have explained several times to those close to me, on a good day, it is managed with eating right, exercising, praying, staying busy, and thinking of others before yourself. On a bad day, you can be doing all those things right and still feel very "off" to put it lightly, and have no control over it. I suspect that the refill being off is the problem, but I don't know for sure. So, mind over matter is essential on these days. You tell yourself that this day will pass, that tomorrow you will feel better. And guess what, it's tomorrow and I feel better! That horrible sinking feeling assailed me first thing this morning, but thoughts of others' well being dragged me out of bed. I EVEN made it to Meijer with all four kids. Are you impressed?! I certainly was! But, help me Lord, the 5 people who stared at me and said, "looks like you got your hands full" did not get polite responses for me. I guess the bad mood had lingered on, just a little :)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Day Three
Good news to report today. Made a little stoppey-stop at my doctors' office today to weigh myself, and had lost two pounds! Melissa B. says a pound a day is pretty typical for the first week. I am being about 95% hard on myself, as far as cheating goes, and if I could sum up the whole process so far in one word, it would be self-control. That's really what ALL bad eating habits boil down to. And if I could add another one, it would be moderation. We all need a vice or two here and there. But how immoderate are you with it? My ice cream once a week had turned into every night (in the winter, especially), and if we are honest with ourselves, do we really feel good after eating ice cream? Negatory.
My darling cousin Shena and I had an awesome talk about veganism while she was visiting last week, and how everything you eat is real actual food, and you feel great after eating it. Added much perspective to my detox, and I'm glad to have had it. More on that perhaps later.....hubby is waiting for me to watch a movie, which I will enjoy whilst sipping green tea, WITH caffeine.
Adios.
My darling cousin Shena and I had an awesome talk about veganism while she was visiting last week, and how everything you eat is real actual food, and you feel great after eating it. Added much perspective to my detox, and I'm glad to have had it. More on that perhaps later.....hubby is waiting for me to watch a movie, which I will enjoy whilst sipping green tea, WITH caffeine.
Adios.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day 2 Detox
Woke up full. Literally. I expected to wake up very hungry, as usual, but I think my stomach is already adjusting to smaller portions. Decided that I can't drag through the morning that way, so had black coffee. NICE. Feel like myself again. Pathetic addiction!
My head feels much clearer. Prayer comes quicker, so I can definately see the mind/body connection with this. While sitting with my coffee, I looked over at Trey. After eating his cereal, he had cuddled up on the chair, facing away from me, and looked like he was contemplating, which was odd, because he is never quiet this long. He continued this for another 20 minutes. I was insanely curious to know what he was thinking, but didn't want to interrupt, so I went on reading. At the end of 20 minutes, he came over to me and I said, "What were you thinking about, bud?" He replied, simply, without any hesitation, "gum." Men!
Mid-morning I met Melissa, my detox support buddy, at the pool and then we meandered with the kids down to the beach to eat lunch. She brought me a "shake on the go," and I felt less jealous of the kids' PBJ's than I did yesterday. Didn't even want a chew on the way home, even though I remembered to bring them. Drank tons o' water.
Dinner: Turkey burgers on a bed of lettuce. Sounds pretty darn good!
I will end with a quote from my favorite Phish blogger, Mr. Miner, who comments after each show, giving such insightful follow-up that I feel like I was there. Here, he is talking about their last night at Berkely before heading to Telluride yesterday: "Phish used their intricate communication to craft a deep trek into the band’s rejuvenated soul. Plain and simple, “Light” blossomed into the most impressive exploration we’ve seen since the band stepped back on stage in 2009. With a stunning journey into the heart of the unknown, the band proved their intention, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to confront new musical frontiers on a nightly basis."
My head feels much clearer. Prayer comes quicker, so I can definately see the mind/body connection with this. While sitting with my coffee, I looked over at Trey. After eating his cereal, he had cuddled up on the chair, facing away from me, and looked like he was contemplating, which was odd, because he is never quiet this long. He continued this for another 20 minutes. I was insanely curious to know what he was thinking, but didn't want to interrupt, so I went on reading. At the end of 20 minutes, he came over to me and I said, "What were you thinking about, bud?" He replied, simply, without any hesitation, "gum." Men!
Mid-morning I met Melissa, my detox support buddy, at the pool and then we meandered with the kids down to the beach to eat lunch. She brought me a "shake on the go," and I felt less jealous of the kids' PBJ's than I did yesterday. Didn't even want a chew on the way home, even though I remembered to bring them. Drank tons o' water.
Dinner: Turkey burgers on a bed of lettuce. Sounds pretty darn good!
I will end with a quote from my favorite Phish blogger, Mr. Miner, who comments after each show, giving such insightful follow-up that I feel like I was there. Here, he is talking about their last night at Berkely before heading to Telluride yesterday: "Phish used their intricate communication to craft a deep trek into the band’s rejuvenated soul. Plain and simple, “Light” blossomed into the most impressive exploration we’ve seen since the band stepped back on stage in 2009. With a stunning journey into the heart of the unknown, the band proved their intention, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to confront new musical frontiers on a nightly basis."
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