Day 4 Detox and Depression

This day was in all honesty so bad that I couldn't bring myself to write.  Not necessarily because of the detox, but that certainly didn't help.  I got a little low on carbs.  I hadn't had ANY carbs since Tuesday (2 days), not even the healthy kind.  Don't know how that happened but it clouded my thinking and feelings and basically colored my whole day.  It started with sadness and loneliness, and transitioned to being very irritated with the kids, then just plain feeling low and not knowing why.  It was at that point (as it usually is) that I realized it was a depressive episode.  I looked at my crazy pill bottle and saw that the refill I had just picked up was less than the normal milligrams per pill, and that's obviously what sent me spiralling down.  I'm sure that no carbs didn't help.  My urge was to binge eat to make myself feel better, but I controlled it for the most part and had some detox tea and a piece of toast with cheese.  Felt a bit better, but still in horrible mood.(poor Joe and kids!)  Joe came home with a new vaccuum for me (so sweet, as I had merely mentioned wanting a newer, lighter version of the ancient one I had only 2 days ago) Went to beach with whole fam dam and felt good only while in the water, playing with kids.  Made a stop at Home Depot to pick something up and Joe also ran in to Office Depot to grab me some mail slot shelves for organzing the kids' papers from school.  (I hadn't been able to find them the previous day when I had a babysitter).  School shopping is now complete!

I have two things to say here.  One is, do NOT allow yourself to get low blood sugar while doing this detox or any diet.  Eat a little something before you feel ravenous, to stave off hunger.  Food is Fuel.  Plain and simple.  It can taste good and should have flavor, but it cannot improve overall mood or make the world seem brighter on a bad day.

Two, mind over matter is a HUGE thing.  It kept me from very very negative thoughts and kept me going for the sake of the kids.  Depression is an illness, and as I have explained several times to those close to me, on a good day, it is managed with eating right, exercising, praying, staying busy, and thinking of others before yourself.  On a bad day, you can be doing all those things right and still feel very "off" to put it lightly, and have no control over it.  I suspect that the refill being off is the problem, but I don't know for sure.  So, mind over matter is essential on these days.  You tell yourself that this day will pass, that tomorrow you will feel better.  And guess what, it's tomorrow and I feel better!  That horrible sinking feeling assailed me first thing this morning, but thoughts of others' well being dragged me out of bed.  I EVEN made it to Meijer with all four kids.  Are you impressed?!  I certainly was!  But, help me Lord, the 5 people who stared at me and said, "looks like you got your hands full" did not get polite responses for me.  I guess the bad mood had lingered on, just a little :)